Yesterday his father and I watched him swear his allegiance to our United States Constitution and become a member of the United States Navy. I am so proud of him and I know he will rise to the challenge and preform his duties with honor and excellence. I'm excited for him as I know this will open a whole new world to him and allow him to become the man I know he is meant to be. That is what I know to be true, intellectually.
The mommy in me, however, is having a hard time with all this. For the past week especially I have been reliving his entire childhood; wondering if I gave him enough of me and my time. We read stories before bed EVERY night since he was a year old or so, but did we read enough stories? We played with Legos and built things, but did I do it often enough? We played with, well, we crashed matchbox cars and had battles with G.I. Joes, Ninja Turtles and Transformers, but will he remember all of that? Did I bake him enough cookies, make him enough of his favorite peanut butter and honey sandwiches (cut on the diagonal) and make his chocolate milk just the way he likes it? Was I a good enough mommy? This is what I am agonizing over right now. That, and wondering if THEY will take good care of him. Will his bed be comfortable? Will he be warm enough? Will he like the food? Of course I know the answers to those questions will be: No, No and No. I will learn to deal with this, probably not as well as my son, but I will try.
The week before my son's first day of kindergarten, the teachers invited all the moms for a get acquainted visit. They told us what our child's day would be like, showed us the playground and signed up the mommies that would be willing to help out in the classroom from time to time. At the end of the hour one of the teachers brought out a book to read to us. I don't think any book has ever had as profound an affect on me... ever. I can't even think about it now without choking up. If you are a parent and have never read this short children's story, or if you know a new parent and they don't have this book yet, get it for yourself or for them. I know in a week or two I will pull it off the shelf and reread it, probably a few times, and have my self a good cry or two (or four or five). This is the book, it's by author Robert Munsch, "Love You Forever". You will have to copy and paste this URL to your browser, or do a google search on your own so that you can read a snippet of the book on line. Go ahead, I dare you, just have some tissues handy.
http://books.google.com/books?id=7ep09WAFbDwC&dq=love+you+forever+by+robert+n.+munsch&printsec=frontcover&source=bn&hl=en&ei=FSdhS52zC5HQtgPW8pm-Cw&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=4&ved=0CBgQ6AEwAw#v=onepage&q=&f=false
Tori, I just met you today, and Grant has been gone for months already, but I was sitting on your couch today watching miss Sammi chew on her bone, listening to you and Bill, and WISHING that you had been my parents. Reading this blog post just cemented that wish. You were a WONDERFUL mother to your amazing son, whom I am so proud to call my friend. Do not ever doubt yourself for a single moment. You are an inspiration to me that someday I might be as much of a parent to my own child. Grant is so lucky that he has a mother that cares so deeply for him. You may have to let him be, but you never have to let him go.
ReplyDeleteAll of my prayers to your family and to Sammigirl.
Love, Holeh